This, Is Us

PART TWO of TWO

In surveying people all week, about what on TV resonates with them, and why, two factors pop up repeatedly: relatability and escape. When we can identify with something, we immediately connect. And we want more. When we escape into another world, real or fantasy, we get lost. Forget about our world. Or better still, learn things about our world. Many of us grew up idolizing our NYC besties on Friends, and How I Met Your Mother. Still classic favourites for so many. Or we fantasized about the Upper East Side in Gossip Girl. Walked the Stars’ Hollow of Gilmore Girls. We turn to these, as one follower said, "like a hug from an old friend". Rewatching with my teenage kids, I notice just how homogeneous they are. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Did we care about that before? Do we now?

As for mainstream reality shows about dating -- The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Beauty and the Geek -- I cannot relate. 🤷🏻‍♀️I don’t care who gets picked or who gets with who. They just seem so scripted. Why then, did I love Indian Matchmaking? It’s not like it’s amazing, groundbreaking television. Yet so many binged it. 👀

Here is the difference. In relating to content, what many of us like most is seeing ourselves on TV, in media made available for mass consumption. 📺 People like ME. People that understand ME. Varied cultural representation on TV is not a given. We always chose in the past what was relatable, from what was available -- and we made our connections. And if those connections can now be deepened further, how amazing is that? And we seek it out.

Take Amazon’s Four More Shots Please. Watching with my brother-in-law in the room, the explicit language and content shocked even him, a ‘push the envelope’ filmmaker. 👀 But boy could I relate! And Indian Matchmaking is not just about finding a partner, it’s about finding a partner while being Indian, with Indian realities. One more crucial layer to that relatability.

Therein lies the magic in shows that get it right. When we watch them, we feel special. We feel like we matter. People are watching “us”. This, is us. And even more beautiful is that everyone can on some level, relate. The same way we did in the past, to mainstream shows. Sifting past cultural absences, we find what is meaningful.👌🏽

Is this how most people have felt, all the time?!

In survey results on Instagram, we also seek storylines as an escape. Laughter helps. And we find it a bonus when we come across shows with variation in characters, cultures, sexuality. These are part of the modern era of television. Think Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Atlanta, Killing Eve, Euphoria, Four Weddings And A Funeral.

Quality TV presents us with whatever we are craving -- and sometimes to our delight, inclusivity. It moves us, makes us laugh, challenges our thinking. Characters, issues, plot points that are timely and varied. Especially now.

Reminding us of some universal truths:

*Loneliness is crippling. But being alone is not the same thing.

*Unresolved trauma stays in you.

*Cultural identity is a double-edged sword.

*Parental pressure is a heavy thing.

*There is always someone else’s clock ticking on how we live our lives.

*Being ‘fair-skinned’ defines beauty.

*The double standard for women runs rampant.

*A divorcee has a scarlet letter on her back.

*Finding a good life partner is not easy.

*And most importantly, standing on your own two feet always comes before leaning into someone else.

It is realities like these, woven throughout a story, that touch us deeply. At the end of the day, we all feel. Pain, hardship, love, lack of love. We struggle. We look for meaning. Even in something as simple as a television show. And when we find ourselves represented, it feels like coming home.

Finding that relatability, and learning from what we see, a remarkable thing indeed. 🙏🏽