PART 1 of 3…
The year has begun with much instability. Curfews, a state of emergency, a nightmare U.S. leadership transition. 👀 The stress of external variables. So let’s instead think about LOVE. ♥️ Relationships require communication. Brother to sister, partner to partner, parent, child, lover, friend -- all need both listening, and hearing.☝🏽
Think about the people in your life. Who do you know loves you? How do you know?
Years ago, Dr. Gary Chapman (from his experience as a marriage counselor), wrote of the different languages of love. My sister turned me onto 📖 The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, which describes the unique styles of communicating love — how figuring out another’s primary language is the key to a successful, loving relationship. 🔑
How do any of us show people we love, what they mean to us?
I remember as a child, Friday afternoons cleaning the whole house, looking after my sister, and putting together a simple meal of Kraft Dinner or soup & sandwiches, all before our mom came home from work. 🧹 🍽 We knew she would be tired, and this (rather than “I love you Mom”) would make her happy. We learned how to show her we loved her -- in a language, she spoke. Looking back, I suppose at the same time I received love, in a language I understood: words, praise, recognition. 🥰
Some of us need to hear it.
What do others need? Is it the things we do for them? Hugs & kisses, and physical touch? Thoughtful gifts care has been put into? Or putting phones away, for intentional time together? All of the above, yes -- on a sliding scale. ⚖️
But what is the most primary, the biggest way that a specific person feels loved? 📝
My brother in law took his father out in his brand new jeep. 🚙 Later I asked, “Did Dad say how nice the jeep was?” He said Dad said nothing, except to offer directions on how to get to point B. Surely, his Dad was proud to be in this beautiful new vehicle. 🤷🏻♀️ But not saying that, in fact, communicated something else. My mom says that in their day, “No one said I love you! Heck, we didn’t even know when our birthdays were!” 🤦🏻♀️ Granted.
But, if we CAN know what another’s language of love is, would we not speak it? Thereby unlocking just one more of our life’s mysteries. 🔐
PART 1 OF 3...More to come.
You’re so right. There is something with our parent’s generation and lack of showing affection. I too have noticed this. It’s sad but I’m trying to be better about showing affection to my kids because I think they NEED to see and feel it. Not all families were like this growing up, because I will say that my husband’s family is very good about expression affection. I have learned from him but I find that it’s harder for me to do because of how my family was growing up. Thank you for sharing Nina
Beautiful article. I LOVE it. When can I come over for some Kraft Dinner?