INDIAN MATCHMAKING: THIS, IS US

PART ONE of TWO (1 of 2):

Let’s talk about Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking, undeniably getting much buzz. 📺 The series traces the (dating) lives of several individuals, each in search of a marriage partner through a matchmaking consultant. 📝 No small feat. The caveat: they want to find someone within the Indian culture, who their families approve of. 🇮🇳 Arranged marriages -- right or wrong -- portrayed in a much more palatable way than the masses might think. As we witness the emotions (stress, anticipation, anxiety, disappointment, fear) involved in meeting a potential life partner through ‘Seema Auntie’, somehow, a hint of romanticism is added to an otherwise clinical union. 💫 Marriage is hard at times. The romance can fade. Realities and struggles set in. Unresolved traumas may surface. Watch American Murder: The Family Next Door. Or Dirty John: Betty Broderick Story -- both Netflix, both ground in reality. Being married is sometimes the easy part. Being happily married, another story.☝🏽In candid conversations, where we listen and think, we also learn. And anyone in a relationship knows there are waves. 👀

Regardless of what one’s union is like, arranged or not, the pomp and circumstance of an Indian wedding is virtually unmatched. 💃🏻👳🏽‍♀️ A spare no expense celebratory spectacle, with glory, sparkle, and decadence. Legendary. The future may be unknown, but at wedding time, everyone shines. 🌟 Indulgence aside, Indian Matchmaking shows us the prep work involved, not just in meeting a spouse, but in a marriage between two families, not just two people. The candidness of the individuals, their parents, the matchmaker, are quite something to watch. While playing it safe in some ways (steering clear of issues of sexuality, for instance), cultural nuances are certainly not painted in the best light. 🤔 Flaws in the South Asian mentality are readily exposed, and boy can we relate:

*The overbearing mother-in-law, who declares “I am the head of this household and whoever my son marries will be second to me”.

*The female lawyer who is deemed ‘too ambitious’, for valuing her career so much that she will not date anyone who makes less money than her.

*The fashion designer, that Seema Auntie sees as picky. She wants a husband but also wants to be ‘whole’ on her own.

*The handsome jeweller who is ‘not serious enough’ because he won’t agree to meet anyone if he does not like their photo.

*The lovely Guyanese Indian wedding planner who is difficult to match with “real Indian” men.

What is it that attracts us to film and tv? What brings us back? What makes us message our friends telling them what they must see, particularly with so much time at home this year. My sister Suzy told me every night last week, she lost herself in Marcella (Netflix). The pain and hardship of the protagonist, as a mother and woman, really shook her. She puts her entire life on the line, grapples with mental health issues, and attempts to solve murders in London. Yet as I watch with my husband, he finds Marcella quite frustrating and is annoyed with the plot.

Our daughter loves the reboot of Netflix’s One Day At A Time. I sat down to watch it with her, and was amazed. Reimaged, about a Cuban-American family, it deals with issues like PTSD, immigration, gender identity in teens, and alcoholism. It is timely and beautiful. Our son binged Money Heist (Netflix) in a week. And while he can’t exactly relate to a hostage crisis, he certainly loves the shrewdness of the masterminds behind the heist. With the use of logic and computer skills -- two things he prides himself on -- he was sold after the first episode. Discussing all this in the car, The Waterboys ‘Whole of the Moon’ came on. Instantly, I was transported back to The Affair -- my own personal kryptonite. I will admit, as I recalled the Solloway family, I was teary-eyed.

So what is it, that draws us in, and makes us want more? In particular, with all the time at home this year, what keeps us coming back? 📺 🎞

Continued in Part 2.