Book Review: Little Fires Everywhere

As restrictions slowly open up, I met with my new book club this week to discuss Little Fires Everywhere -- a beautiful and compelling page-turner about motherhood, teenagers, and life itself. We noted that the series is currently airing on Prime Video, starring Reese Witherspoon, Kerry Washington, and Joshua Jackson. I myself have had a very complicated relationship with my mother. Made simpler in my adult, married years, in the past it has been full of ups and downs and everything in between. Incidentally, I also read this book with her, in a family book club. We have yet to discuss it.

Here we have Celeste Ng’s second novel, which aptly shows the pivotal role mothers play in our lives, for better or worse. And to try and define what motherhood really means proves near impossible. Through the females in this novel, we come to understand that loving your child is not enough. Miscommunication, failure to foster empowerment, and assuming your intentions are clear, three serious flaws, carry punishments that can last a lifetime. For both parent and child. In my own life, as I get older I can understand that the empathy and understanding I craved as a teen were not intentionally withheld from me. Fear and “the unknown” are huge motivators for the actions parents take. Sadly, that fear can translate into harsh criticism and seemingly unloving judgement. And, rash actions with seemingly no sense. I always thought it was being an immigrant that distracted parents from being in tune with North American living. But what about parents who are NOT adjusting to a new land, and who are NOT struggling with their own cultural identity? In this novel, it is these parents that struggle with communication and understanding. What an eye-opener for me.

Let’s look at sexual education. Whose job is it to teach teenagers about this -- the school or the home? As a brown girl, this was never discussed in the home. Likewise, a friend told me that when she was a teen, her mother actually pulled her out of sex-ed and kept her home. In my career as a teacher, I know it is quite common for parents of some cultures to do this -- in Ontario, we have had parents vehemently opposed to an updated health and sex-ed curriculum. And in Little Fires Everywhere, we have Mrs. Richardson, a white, privileged, Ivy-league educated mother. “She and her husband did not speak to the children about their love lives...in general she preferred to assume that her children were smart enough to make their own decisions, that the school had armed them well with knowledge. If they were “up to things” -- as she euphemistically thought of it -- she didn’t need, or want, to know”.

Well, having been a teen, and having been “up to things”, getting this education ‘on the streets’ is not only dangerous, it is also completely unfair. And while school can provide a framework of general knowledge, most of the learning has to come from the home. The casual talk amongst adolescents, the inflated expectations the media builds up, and the mistakes teens can make along the way, leave way too much up to chance.

This leads to another topic delved into deeply here: right of parenthood. How many chances do we have, to mess up? And further to this, how much proof is required, of love? Ng leaves us with such open-ended questions, we waver from one day to the next on how we feel. One consistent thought remains. From day one we look to parents for leadership. And yes, they mess up. I certainly do. And as the leaders in a family, the weight of the parenting role is heavy. None of the mothers in this novel are adept at communicating. In fact, they suck at it. And the substantive domino effect of this is noted. Miscommunication can in fact be passed down from one generation to the next. Sweep those elephants away. I look at many loved ones today and I see it. People, at varying stages of adulthood, who just don’t lead, and who raise their hands in silent innocence at the frustration that ensues from this. It completely frustrates me, and I do not accept it. As in life, the characters in this book guilty of this need to do better. Then there are others, real or fiction, who mess up so badly but admit, and grow from it. So, is it better to work at eliciting change and growth, keeping the faith? Or, to distance one’s self from this toxicity, and build a more balanced but independent life? More importantly, is it ever a child’s job to work for change in a family -- particularly, when a parent won’t?

In Little Fires Everywhere, the teenagers -- with mothers utterly unable to lead -- are just so full of baggage. And without leadership, at such a tender age, they are lost. Stabbing in the dark for shots at happiness, guidance, and answers, will this confusion smooth out as they age? In most cases, yes. Or, will it alter their happiness in all stages of life? Ng once again has led us down a path with such well-written and nuanced characters, that we are painfully wanting more. I am sure I am not alone, in pursuit of a much-needed sequel.

Sources:

Ng, Celeste. Little Fires Everywhere, Penguin Random House, 2017.